Date:	2010-12-03 14:52
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	disappointed

dark evil thought: Is my husband buying me things cause he wants me to have something nice or because he is feeling guilty about something he has done?

title: You Never Know
author: wolfenverde
rating: everyone
fandom: 30stm
characters: Shannon Leto and two OC
disclaimer: I am not a thief. they own themselves.
Note: This is for Sticks and Strings.


It was always odd how his brother got him to go to some of the oddest places. There were always times that he needed to be away from Jay, like his days off during months into what was looking to be a two year tour. He did enjoy being with his little brother when he got a wild hair. So he wasn’t too surprised to know they were taking a day off in the tiny town of Cooper Pedy.
Cooper Pedy, a small town where everything was underground. Also the town featured in two different movies. Mad Max beyond Thunder Dome and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Shannon smirked into his drink. Funny what one remembers about movies? So here he was, alone, enjoying a steak in the hotel bar slash restaurant that was entirely underground sans brother. So far this had been relaxing and tomorrow he and Jay would be back on the road. Oh course that would be the time to finally notice the two women eating and drinking next to him. He understood odd conversations. God knew some of the ones that he had with Tomo and Jared and even Tim sometimes were off like off in left field is to close, but this was too odd to not over hear.
“I am telling you Tia, no one is afraid of anything but each other anymore! Look at the modern horror. No true honorable and strong heroes anymore. Heck, the only thing they fear is each other!”
“Granted that the prevailing horror flicks have humans killing each other in little more than bad recreations of ancient bloodletting and human sacrifices, but there is some decent otherworldly mythos still out there, Ki.”
“Please! No strigoi mort would be glitter boys! Hells! The strigoi viu were tougher and more fear inducing than that…..that…rubbish.” Ki huffed and slammed back what was left of her glass of what looked like red wine. Shannon used this to look a little closer at the two women that sat next to him. Ki was short, dark haired and dark eyed, looking what he would term Middle Eastern. Lush and vibrant in both domineer and clothing. Not many women could pull off crimson and eggplant as color choices.
The one called Tia had a braid of rich brown hair casually tossed over her shoulder that was as thick as his wrist. She is dressed in rich earth tones and taller than her companion but there is a passion that is on both of their faces. That he missed part of Tia’s reply.
“Look, it may be that humanity feels that it no longer needs to fear the traveler that knocks on the door after dark is nothing less than a lost person or that they are having car troubles or the moans that they hear is anything less than a settling house. That does not mean that they are not without beliefs.”
“Right; sister girl. It just means they want to fuck it rather than kill it. Tia. People don’t even know what a strigoi is much less what the different types are. Look at the zombies. Man made viruses that make hungry undead that are immune to decay. It’s like they just pick and choose bits and pieces and forget the whole. They are rewriting the oldest of legends and myths and forgetting the best parts. The effing reasons the bloody stories were made in the first place.”
“Don’t get to big for your britches. Sorry to eavesdrop ladies; but yeah the stories are being rewritten. The purpose is the same now as it was then.” Shannon blushed a tiny bit at interrupting the two ladies. Bright smiles were directed at him and a deep throaty laugh came from Ki.
“At our volume, it wasn’t private. Come share your thoughts with us.” Introductions were quickly made, chairs moved and meals paid for. Leaving just the small part of getting refilled drinks and comfortable to continue the discussion.
“So. How did this discussion start, Ladies?”
Tia’s whiskey roughed voice purred into a laugh. “It all started because of a song about a beer run.”
“Excuse me?” Shannon knew he had a what the fuck look on his face but how did you go from a beer run song which he couldn’t believe any one would write, to modern hermeneutics of horror? Ki’s laughter was bawdy, almost a cackle.
“Word of advice; Shannon. Never get a group of anthropologists drunk and listening to country music. See; we have a friend named Cass who is working on some theory of angels as some sort of ninja like witches…don’t ask…who announced at a conference that he needed a drink. And since the place we were at was a dry county…”
Tia cut in, “And apparently Cass is a hard core Garth Brooks fan that insisted that for a proper beer run to be had we had to listen to a particular song. And considering that most of us are not the stereotypical ‘tweed’s’ we figured that as recompense..”
“We had to drink the liquor store!” The two women finished together and cackling. Tia brushed tears of laughter off her face. “That was one of the worst hangovers I have ever had. Luckily, I had a twenty one hour flight from New York to Perth to sleep it off.”
“Lucky my foot. I still think you and Cass and the brothers Hassan had that planned in advance. I had almost ten layovers to get back home.” Ki gave a small pout.
“The five of us are good friends and lushes of the first order Shannon.”
“So you all drank a store? The whole store?”
Tia’s smile was ruthless. “Damn near. And there is nothing better than getting Ki, Ammit and Ament smashed out of their gourds. Those three work in Muslim countries. So getting them to conventions where they can let their hair down is a great time.”
“And getting back on topic.” Ki rolled her eyes. “We got tipsy and started discussing modern horror stories and to our disgust, Twilight had just come out.”
“Ah. So teenage angst about falling in love with something that should be scary not sexy ticked you five off?”
Tia’s snort was harsh. “It is to date, the worst crappy remake of Romeo and Juliet.” Shannon laughed and started tossing out the actual remake of Romeo and Juliet that was done with Clare Danes and Leonardo Di Caprio. This off course led to a fast and much laughed about conversation of vampires, Shakespeare knockoffs and somehow veganism.
It was the quiet inquiry from the waitress telling them that last call had been made, would they like something else that made Shannon ask the loaded question of if the ladies wanted to finish the conversation in his hotel room. Tia just gave a kind smile and asked if condoms should be purchased. The resulting spit take from Ki and himself had to be hilarious considering the fact that Tia was laughing so hard she was crying.
Shannon gave Tia a quick glance. Time to put his acting skills in effect then; giving Tia a lascivious look and raking her body with his eyes slowly from the tip of her sneakers to her eyes, he smirked and drawled out whiskey dark and sultry, “If you want to. Been a awhile for me to take two women at once. But I am a drummer. I can go all day if you can.” Tia’s blush was bright on her cheeks as Ki’s laughed.
“He’s got you there.”
“Shush you.” Tia hissed.
“We would love to accompany you Shannon.” Ki and Tia smiled at Shannon.

Which of course was how Jared found him the next day. Alone is a bed, naked with lipstick marks in interesting places and two notes. “Next time you are in Tel Aviv, look me up handsome. Ki Anunnaki. +07 555 #####”
“Shannon; Last night was perfect. If you are ever want to do that again let me know. I will get us a mango. It should work better than the cantaloupe. Tia Adderson Perth, AU. +02 555#### ext ####”

I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

Date:	2010-06-10 09:47
Subject:	~gigglesnort~
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Date:	2010-05-24 17:49
Subject:	Herder of Cats
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated

For those that don't know what the above statement means; picture some poor person trying to herd about 50 cats, from kitten sized to lion and tiger sized. With only a shepherd's hook and an unopened can of tuna. In other words a Sisyphean task.

Take 5 IT Techs, give them all different tasks, about 200 end users and 2 data entry (i.e. secretaries) that are entering the equal of 6000 medical records a day, now take all of that and keep all of them on task.....and you are a herder of cats.

One tech or ratsie as I have called them is the brooding equal of the character Angel on BTVS. While being an ass bemoaning his time working and living in Louisiana because we are so....~gasps~ backward and old fashioned and stupid unintelligent slack jawed yokels....he has been renamed Peaches.

One tech has been named Scarlet; as in Scarlet O'hara. Picture the part of Scarlet saying she will never be hungry again...That is my MALE tech.

Viking is a lovely sweet man, till you tick him off. That and the fact that he has a braided beard that reaches mid chest on him. His favorite coffee cup is a MUG. http://www.thabto.co.uk/mug

Ferret is a darling sneaky woman that is still learning the ropes. Older and a great student, just very very sneaky.


Then there is me. I am wolf and have and can be the snarling wolf for my people. That is all the IT Techs.

So now that you have the cast of odd balls let me tell you about the past two weeks. normally we get about 20 problem calls a day, most that are fixable over the phone or remotely. Now understand that is normal. Now here is the problem. When we have visitors, these calls can double or triple. still doable but more stress on people that are fairly antisocial, means that whoever is on point gets a fairly large headache. Our point person meets and greets visitors, makes sure that any computer/audio visual need is met and stays in contact with the rest of the staff that are on point for their divisions.

Last week we had two groups that came at the same time on the same day. so our forces were divided more than normal. This week we have two more groups while one tech is on vacation and another is caught up with normal end of the month inventories.

so yeah. today I was a herder of cats. and I am now drinking.

Date:	2010-04-26 10:32
Subject:	light sabers and lime serbert
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy
Music:	30STM

so here I am at 1030 on a Monday morning; not doing what I should be doing. Should be working on reports or running inventory or heck, balancing my check book would be a plus. Not doing it though. Why? Cause I got 2001 things going through my 20 movie screen mind.

Things like does my cat friend need bullets or coffee? Should I send her muses 'virtual' cookies or sex toys? (What can I say? I love seeing if her muses can blush. Yes; Shannon/Beast darling. I am batshit crazy.)

what do I need to order for the house? do we need more paint? what about the girls? What can I offer to a friend that is not well, that will get to him where he is going considering that dang sweet fool is on the dang road. (got to keep trucking my left foot. get pneumonia. you'll be sleeping in a hospital bed.)

why is it that some VERY handsome men don't install feelings of lust but the grandmother feeding instinct. (yes my darling friend. you need to eat.)

mental flashes of concert footage; office meetings; movies and instructional videos on how to do HD wiring is stuck in my mind. well that and a craving for lime sherbet and enjoying the muted light in my office. thanks to the light put off by a usb blue light saber. (yes lassie; I am a geek and no Timmy didn't fall into a well. your senile.)

yep. I think I will go get something to snack on and read some fanfic. something with light sabers and Spartans.

Date:	2010-04-13 19:47
Subject:	Reasonable Men by Bill Wittle
Security:	Public
Mood:	curious
Music:	my babies snores

There is a concerted effort afoot on the part of big-state socialists to paint the Tea Party as a bunch of dangerous, hate-filled radicals with a bunch of crazy new ideas that go fare beyond the pale of the traditional American political mainstream.

Let’s ask some reasonable men – because the Founding Fathers were surely the largest collection of reasonable men ever gathered in one place at one time in history – what they thought about the issues raised by the Tea Party movement.

For instance, what did they think of a powerful central government?

George Washington:



“Government is not reason; it is not eloquence. It is force. And force, like fire, is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.”



To those who say, well, the Government has to force you to buy something you don’t want. It’s for the greater good! Here’s William Pitt, 1783:

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.”



Thomas Jefferson, the most intellectually brilliant man to ever hold the office of President – Barack Obama excepted, of course – had this to say in his First Inaugural, accepting the reins of that power:



“A wise and frugal government – (wise and frugal, my God how we have fallen) A wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government…”

Did the greatest mind in American history have any other radical, dangerous thoughts on the encroachment of government and uncontrolled spending?

Jefferson, 1782:

“On every unauthoritative exercise of power by the legislature must the people rise in rebellion or their silence be construed into a surrender of that power to them? If so, how many rebellions should we have had already?”

Thomas Jefferson, letter to John Taylor, May 28, 1816:

“The principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale.”

Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to Spencer Roane, March 9, 1821:

“The multiplication of public offices, increase of expense beyond income, growth and entailment of a public debt, are indications soliciting the employment of the pruning knife.”

Thomas Jefferson, 1824:

“I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living on the labor of the industrious.”

1824! If Jefferson was outraged at the extent of the federal government in 1824, then that’s good enough for Bill Whittle in 2010. You see, unlike Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow and Ed Schultz and Keith Olbermann, I don’t think I’m smarter than Thomas Jefferson. But Ed and Rachel and Chris and Keith are here to tell you that protesting this government takeover of the auto industry, the financial industry, the insurance industry, the housing market and now the nation’s health care is a wild and radical idea!



I’ll tell you what else we Tea Party supporters believe in: we believe that the Constitution is Law. In the same way it’s the Ten Commandments and not the Ten Suggestions, we feel that the Constitution is law. When the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, was asked where she drew the Constitutional authority to force people to buy health insurance, she said this…

And, famously, a few days ago, Democratic Congressmen Phil Hare, from Barack Obama’s own state of Illinois, had this to say about the source of his legal authority to make people do things they don’t want to do…

Now, if you took your responsibilities and your oaths seriously, I would be forced to at least respect the offices you hold, Madam Speaker, and Congressman Hare. But it’s obvious you don’t. So listen carefully, Nancy and Phil, to what better people then you can even imagine being had to say about the source of your authority:

“If it be asked, What is the most sacred duty and the greatest source of our security in a Republic? The answer would be, An inviolable respect for the Constitution and Laws — the first growing out of the last…. A sacred respect for the constitutional law is the vital principle, the sustaining energy of a free government. “

Alexander Hamilton, Aug 28, 1794

“The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”

Patrick Henry



“A free people [claim] their rights as derived from the laws of nature, and not as the gift of their chief magistrate.

Thomas Jefferson, 1774.

And finally, what about the dangerous, wild-eyed, hateful and threatening allusions to violence? What about that un-American, unheard of, unprecedented repudiation of the genteel nature of politics, as represented by the calm and rational rhetoric that came from the left during the Bush years? What did the founders have to say about defending freedom, by force if necessary?

One of the Framers of the Constitution, John Dickinson wrote:

“We are reduced to the alternative of choosing an unconditional submission to the tyranny of irritated ministers (“irritated ministers” – I love that; that’s spot-on) or resistance by force. Honour, justice, and humanity, forbid us tamely to surrender that freedom which we received from our gallant ancestors, and which our innocent posterity have a right to receive from us.”



Or this, from Patrick Henry , 1778:

“Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.”



Of all of the things I have seen since this movement began, nothing has tickled me the way blogger Kent McManigal has with his updated take on the famous Gadsen Flag, widely popular at the time of the Revolution and making a strong comeback in the Tea Party movement. Here’s Kent’s flag:

Time’s up, guys. I know you Irritated Ministers and the defenders of the rich and powerful in the news media loathe and despise the Tea Party because you fear it. And you are right to fear it! It’s coming! It’s coming to take the country back from you big-state, anti-freedom elitists. Time’s up.

Here are some final words to take us out.

Alexander Hamilton, Federalist No. 21, 1787:

“The natural cure for an ill-administration, in a popular or representative constitution, is a change of men.”



John Adams, 1765:

“Liberty must at all hazards be supported. We have a right to it, derived from our Maker. But if we had not, our fathers have earned and bought it for us, at the expense of their ease, their estates, their pleasure, and their blood.”



Benjamin Franklin, July 4, 1776:

“We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”



And then there’s this:

“What country before ever existed a century and half without a rebellion? And what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

Thomas Jefferson in a letter to William Stephens Smith, 13 November 1787

And finally, from Samuel Adams – for all you big-state control freaks, Tea Party slanderers and the entire staff at MSNBC:

“If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”



Those are the wild-eyed radicals I stand with, and those are the ideals that I hold that are under assault. What about you?

Date:	2010-04-12 14:52
Subject:	Marcus Cole's words of wisdom. Or yeah. I am a geek.
Security:	Public
Mood:	geeky

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."

Date:	2010-04-07 20:28
Subject:	Yehuda Amichai
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Of Three or Four in the Room

Out of three or four in the room
One is always standing at the window.
Forced to see the injustice amongst the thorns,
The fires on the hills.

And people who left whole
Are brought home in the evening, like small change.

Out of three or four in the room
One is always standing at the window.
Hair dark above his thoughts.
Behind him, the words, wandering, without luggage,
Hearts without provision, prophecies without water
Big stones put there
Standing, closed like letters
With no addresses; and no one to receive them.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

Date:	2010-03-15 09:19
Subject:	Classes part 2
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

I know part 2 is a misnomer but in reality it should be. So far the class has gone on for two sessions and well...pardon my language..FUCK. I have forgotten how hard it is to make people understand the simplest of language and teaching 14-24 year old's is next to impossible some days.

First let me define the things we are discussing:

Natural Law: a theory that posits the existence of a law whose content is set by nature and that therefore has validity everywhere.

Social law: laws or practices that are based or governed by a Society or section of Society. This includes Race, Religions, Ethnic Groups and Regional Practices.

Governmental laws: laws both Civil and Criminal that are made by the government of a City/State/ Provence/Nation.

Now this shouldn't be a hard discussion should it. Granted this is often considered the type of topics that are college level; but when you are teaching ethics...some of this is needed to be learned.

So here goes discussing what these types of laws are and how they apply to our teaching of Ethics of Pagan Traditions. (Wiccan and other Religions. cause yeah, seems half of my students are not pagan. a Pagan friend said come with me to this class. it is cool. ~throws hands in air~)

~headdesk~ What can I say. we went from the only Natural laws are gravity to human rights and animal rights and how they need to be forced by the government. How the Ten Commandments are not Natural Laws ~facepalms~ to Health Care and why vegetarianism should be some type of law somewhere! (this stated by a frighting 14 year old named Tiphani. yeah, that is how she told me she spells her name.)

What seemed to blow some of the kids minds...Logic dictates that if something is a Natural Law...you don't need the government to regulate it. Because all of nature would do it. (i.e. People/Animals/Nature) In fact; governments would not be able to regulate it. Governments can not regulate Natural forces or laws. This includes sex, eating, and sleeping.

Some kids argued that the governments have made laws about sex and eating. As in the sodomy laws and gay marriage. Others pointed out the Arabic Laws that prevent eating during certain times of the year during the day and even the ban on pork. The Jewish kosher rules, blah blah blah...now this took most of week one. To which it was pointed out that we eat pork and put milk and cheese with meat and none of us fast during Lent or Ramadan; and there is not a seafood that any Cajun has ever meet that we did not eat. As for Marriage; that is a Social construct. As for the actual practice of sex...~laughs~ what is and is not taboo is also a Social construct. After all; even the Greeks had descriptions and rules about what was/was not allowed in homosexual relationships. Everything to how to chose a lover to what you should or should not preform with a partner. How the ancient world even viewed rape, love between a man and a woman to monogamy.

And yeah. Somehow this took over two hours to field.

Now comes the hard part. Discussing Social Laws and how they impact Governmental Laws. How murder/stealing/rape/lies are judged and what is a right.

We even got into what is murder...~headdesk~ Yep. opened a can of worms on that one. Killing to eat; Killing to protect your self; Killing to protect an idea...What are the limits. Why is it allowed for some and not for others. What are white lies and what is libel, slander? how are the lines drawn for what is and is not allowed. How does following the Rede make you view the government laws and other social laws. How do they come in conflict? Does the Rede come into conflict with even Natural Laws.

So for the second class...we decided that yeah. The Rede both does and does not come into conflict. After all; if you stop someone from protecting there home against an intruder; you are harming the protector. However; stopping the intruder could be considered harming him. So how do you reconcile? By deciding which is of the greater good.

Now I know; many of use have problems with the greater good. However; the Rede is not infallible. After all humans are not all the same. People do not all follow the same faiths. Some people will always CHOSE to lie, steal, rape, kill and other things. After all; that is what the Rede is about. Choice.

To many Pagans, that is the only freedom and right humanity has. Choice. The Rede states that choice is what gives us knowledge and hope and everything. We chose to do good or ill. We also believe that we have to accept what our choices do.

It has been a long few classes. Fun and exhausting. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


Always;
J.L.

Date:	2010-02-28 10:01
Subject:	Clean House and suprise gifts
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished

For those that don't know; I have been sick. Getting better and all of that. Now for the fun part. I received something that I am pretty sure I did not buy. A set of blue and white vinyl records.
Don't get me wrong. They are beautiful. But I don't have a record player. So sadly I may never listen to them. However; I do know the perfect place to display them. My office.

~cackles and howls~ My poor Office....Red dragons; blue and white records; and nature pictures done by my mother. One day someone is going to freak out on the oddness of my office. Only thing I need now is some kind of vintage lamp and chaise lounge where I can plan my world domination.

Now on to Clean House. This show is to funny. I have never been so shocked at some of the conditions that people live in. I can understand some clutter. I can understand some messiness. you got kids; you got a mess and clutter. How ever; there is a difference between clutter and filth. Anytime you look at someone's walls; and I mean the walls; are not something you want to lean on....that is filth.

On the other hand; the ideas from the designer are great. Some are "Sweet Baby Jesus! That is BRIGHT!" and others are just "Wow. That is so good looking."

Yeah; I am a hot mess.

Date:	2010-01-05 12:51
Subject:	Break of Reality
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

It is a BOR Day. Sorry 30STM gentlemen. But as much fun as I have been having with everything. I am in need of that slick slide and fingertip arpeggio of sound today. How can one describe music with no lyrics?

Can one say that the notes break like the bright spots in your eyes or fade like the after image from a too bright screen? Or perhaps it feels like the slide of hot water over oil slick skin; teasing and tempting for the touch of a lover? Maybe it is the faint touch of a light mist as you bath in the sound of a water fall or it pounds like the rain on a tin roof.

How can you but feel the emotions that are there in the tenor of a cello as it moans the loss of lover and whispers their name? Or how it puts you there is the shade of a cypress tree hearing the good byes of family. The bass thrums with hurt and anger..you can here the steps of someone pulling them selves up out of the muck and mire and almost hear that person say no more.

One of the songs; called Circles; can almost be described as the pounding footsteps of a person running the maze trying to get from point A to B...the quickness of breath and the pounding need to get there. There is the darkness of fighting the obstetrical in your path. The pain and need to go faster, faster, faster to your prize. and the realization you have to do it all again tomorrow.

There are times in all peoples lives where they hit the wall.  That moment when you stop and ask yourself if you are going to continue or if you are going to give up.  Mine was at 0230 on Solstice morning. 

I could transcribe the thing I wrote that led up to the moment of Hitting the Wall.  The thoughts of who I am and what I should be doing with my life.  I could tell you of the very hard two years of very near divorce and constant fighting between myself and my husband.  Of the dividing up of things and children.  Yet, some how that is not that odd or even what truly made me hit that wall.

I hit the wall because I actually stopped to look at myself. 

See; at two in the morning it is quiet. The kind of quiet where you can sit  and think.  There is nothing to be done, nothing to be said, nothing but silence.  Pure, sweet, empty silence.  That empty silence that nothing can fill.  The time when the world catches it's breath.

So what did all this introspection lead to? What realizations did I come to? 

I have forgotten happiness. 

Not the kind of joy that comes when I am with family, or the contentment of a job well done.  Just plain old everyday happiness.  The happiness that I had as a young woman when I was just happy with life.  When sudden changes of plans was met with a smile and an "o.k. what do you want to do?".  When I would just give my loved ones a hug and a kiss and say, "Want to come with? Where are we going? Don't know. Let's just go."  Heck;  when I enjoyed my oddness and my faith. 

See; it seems I have cried to many times here recently.  Not the tears shed in anger or pain.  I talk of the tears that no one sees.  The waking up at two in the morning and just unable to do anything but cry.   The tears shed when driving home after a day spent with blood and adopted family where there are only questions that I have not the heart to answer.  To many times where the tears are just the evidence of the weeping wounds of the soul.

As I proof read this words I feel my breath catch.  Should I release this for the world to see? Bare my breast to show this wound? What answers do I have? What decisions have I made? I can almost heard someone ask "What is the end of the story, Woman?".

Cause that is just it.  There are no answers.  There are no reasons or even helpful advice.  The truth is...  I am still sitting at the base of the wall, looking at it's brick and mortar and wonder if I should go on.  If I can climb it, or go around it or blast it to bits.  I can't go backward, and I am not sure I should go forward.  I can't see my future and the past is unchangeable.  

So why did I write this? because, I had to.  Like breathing, some things in life have to be honored as an is. 

Date:	2009-12-16 17:57
Subject:	Dark Island
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold

Dark Island

In the years long gone by, when I first left my home
I was young and I wanted the wide world to roam
But now I am older and wiser you see
And that lovely dark Island is calling to me

Though I’ve wandered away from the land of my birth
And I’ve roved all around to the ends of the earth
Still my heart is at home in a land far away
On that lovely dark island where memories stay

Date:	2009-12-11 14:58
Subject:	dream pieces
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

You stood over your brother's shoulder.  Watching him write the music in dark red ink on creamy paper.  Lines upon lines of notes...a melody that spun thoughts and feelings in a wordless tune that spoke of it all. The years of frustration. The needs of a lone man that hungers. You let your hand rest on a shoulder.  A thank you to the hard work, the faith and love between  you. 

An all to brief pause in the writing...you see the tiny smile on the edge of his lips. A shrug and off you go to find something for the both of you to eat. Something simple that won't taste bad when he stops to eat. Even if it has been sitting at his elbow for the next six hours.


A swirl of light and thoughts and time. Mental images of wild dreams and hopes and words that are so close they leave a taste on your tongue; but are gone to quick to even say or know.

A plain room with a simple long black couch meets your eye. The door open and the scent of rosemary and mint and lemongrass tempts you to sit and rest for a bit. A glass of tea in front of you and a warm hand on your shoulder lets you know not to turn around and see who it is. But the sense of warmth and welcome infuses you as you sip the tea. Lavender, rose, mint and the sweetness of the red tea calm your thoughts.  

"Yes," the voice says.  "Yes. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. There will be work to do. Lots of work. But it will be worth it. All of it."

Always,

J. L. Dupre'


l'abilità è tutta

Date:	2009-12-08 13:44
Subject:	Baton Rouge and the Varsity Theatre
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	This Is War

The 7th of December dawned rainy in South Louisiana...but that is normal for the rainy season here. Butterfly so nicknamed because she is best described as one.  A work of art; a butterfly made of precious jewels and pearls set in sharpened steel.

So she drove us to Baton Rouge to see the concert I had oh so lovely conned her into.  Three months before it was announced...~cackles~.
We found the Theatre and a place to park. The parking was insane as usual for a place like BR. Narrow roads and being next to LSU makes for interesting parking choices. We ate a small local pub called Chimes. Which was good and cheap.  (feeding the kids at LSU since the beginning of forever)

Waiting in the rain was maddening; but finding someone that shared their umbrella was a blessing ...(Hope your trip back to Mississippi was good; dry and safe Erin. Hope your husband gets back from his tour soon.) 

Then the good part. Entering the Varsity is like taken a breath of the past. Whitewashed stucco on brick, three bars for drinks and a black and white dance floor in front of the stage. Butterfly grounding me at my side and being surrounded by young tiny girls in college that gave me plenty of room and never met a stranger talking about how happy that 30STM had come to BR and how excited they were...and who was the hotter band member....Jared, Tomo, Shannon or Tim.  Yes; we all hoped Tim would be there and one mentioned she wanted to lick him as well as the other band members....yet somehow in the way she spoke of LICKING Tim....I think she was being a bit....~waves hand in the air~ lascivious.

The first band came out.  and they were good. even if I didn't understand all of the words.  They did warm up the place up.  Course I think it was the small part of alcohol I had imbibed that may have helped that. ~laughs~

Then it happened and there they were. Tomo with his little man bun and scruffy stubble. So rugged that well...I just wanted to hug and feed him and well....~blushes a tiny bit~ do things that would make my husband laugh and smile and ask if I am reading to much porn. 

Tim in his hoodie and my gods the hands on that man. Long and slim and well...I did hear one person say that they would love to be the one that Tim Keller would fondle instead of his bass.

Shannon in his bandana and pounding on the drums so hard that I swore rough sex would be softer. I swear some of the girls in the front came from the vibrations from the drums....I know he made me a bit weak kneed. everything was vibrating....feeling the sound thrumming through my feet and even my breast bone hummed along to the pounding drums. 

And lastly Jared... a playful puppy on red bull or the energizer bunny....rolling hips and constant movement. Singing, screaming calling on the crowd to sing, and scream along....teasing and taunting... playing with us all, from the pit in the front to the middle standing area to the balcony were people sat or stood on the rail.  When I say he was on the move the entire time...he was. Not restless movement of someone that uncomfortable like some I have seen; but of making sure that everyone had caught his eye. That he could honestly say he looked each and everyone in the eye, that the entire crowd was his. We were another instrument...one that gladly acquiesced to his wishes.

The Kill, From Yesterday, The Attack, Beautiful Lie, Kings and Queens, Hurricane done acoustically and with much teasing of those that called for him to sing it... "Ya'll some torrent downloading motherfuckers....I won't play that yet. It is not out yet...not till tomorrow."

The begging and taunts happy yells of "YES, WE ARE TORRENT DOWNLOADING MOTHERFUCKERS!!!" simply made him chuckle a bit under his breath before he played a bit of it.   To which we all said yes we would by the cd at the door; and Jared informed us that the entire band would sign the cd's at the end of the show.   More songs and teasing of us the audience. 

They ended the show with This Is War, followed by 100 Suns. 

Sadly that is the end of the fun part. People rushed to form a line as always…and my second phobia came back with a vengeance. Damn my demophobia.  (fear of people; or of being surrounded by people. Considered a form of claustrophobia.)

Yep, ending up surrounded by tall people, had a slight panic attack. Butterfly saved me again, busting people out of her way by boob bashing them (not a better way to say it) out of the way with a growling move…now.  Got to see the band on the way out…Each member looking at a fan in the eye, signing the cd and a thank you for being a fan and coming by.

Yes. Seeing them in concert was great. Hearing them was better. And I got a promise from Butterfly that she will go with me to see them when they come down this way again.

Date:	2009-11-29 16:54
Subject:	This is War
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

So I have been listening to a copy of this album. Now maybe it is because I am not a music critic or a critic at all. Just a normal person in her late 30's. However; being that...I love this album.

Not in a fan girl type of way; cause well...fan girls are a bit creepy. There is something ethereal about some of the songs, they make you shiver and even gasp at the emotions. Night of the Hunter is one. While others burn with a fire and passion that make you feel a bit like you have had a few drinks, and had the best night of back scratching rough sex that leaves you limping and wondering how it could be called the "Walk of Shame".

Some of the songs are wind howling oh mother help me kind of songs. Songs that sound like a wakening man speaking of his dreams of prophecy.  Others are so softly touching you want to just hug the entire band and whisper it will be better.  That is right. It makes you think of the sweetest love song that isn't really one at all.


All things said and done. This album should have a warning on it.


"THIS RECORD CAN BE USED TO START A REVOLUTION, OR A CULT, OR LEAD AN ARMY."


Yeah. I think it is that good. If you have not ordered it. do so. If you have; buy one for some one else.  I know I am.


Always;

J.L.

Date:	2009-11-17 12:42
Subject:	Symbols and deep Thoughts
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful

So Class last night started off with the question, "Why does he have the symbol for Air on his jacket?"

Now unless the gentleman in question wants to answer the question...no clue. However the conversation after that is a good one. Why would one want to associate the element of air with music? well... other than looking at the screen with a dumb look of well duh on my face; who would not?

Air or Wind has often been associated with music and musicians. After all, if one considers the idea and accepts that the making and playing of music is a difficult art; the that is a no duh concept. Air/Wind is the bringers of creativity and knowledge.

Then there is the basic understanding that almost every faith/religion has music in some form. Be it chants, prayers, hymns, etc.. Now comes the part that cause some the uneasy feelings. After all; many pagans would say that many prayers are spells after a fashion.

If you believe and accept in some forms of the supernatural; you accept that there are some out there that are empathic. Empaths are thought to be able to feel or send emotional stimuli.

Who can argue that music does not affect mood and emotions? Who has not heard a song that makes their hips move and gives you the want to dance. Or the song that makes you tear up a bit?

So was the symbol a physical affect for a prayer for inspiration/wisdom? something to call on a bit of luck in battle? (the element of air is also represented by a spear or arrow) Or was it just a clean, simple design anyone can reproduce that is catchy and attention grabbing so that someone can sell lots of merchandise?

Frankly; it doesn't matter to the masses or it shouldn't. Some would argue that it is personal to the person that drew it. In many ways it is. Like the clothes we wear or tattoos we bear. In the end; my students had a good talk about symbols and we'll be discussing it again tonight.

After all. what are words but symbols for our thoughts?

Final one. Cause some times I find doing this is easier than beating someone with a cricket bat.


Cost of Living 2001
How Much things cost in 2001
Average Cost of new house $136,150.00
Average Income per year $42,350.00
Average Monthly Rent $715.00
Cost of a gallon of Gas $1.46
Average cost of new car $25,850.00
US Postage Stamp 34 cents
1 LB of Bacon $3.22
Ground Coffee per IB $3.06
Loaf of Bread $1.82
Dozen Eggs 90 cents

Events 2001

* An earthquake hits Gujarat, India, causing more than 20,000 deaths

* The Scottish Court in the Netherlands convicts a Libyan and acquits another for their part in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 which crashed in Lockerbie, Scotland

* British and U.S. forces carry out bombing raids attempting to disable Iraq's air defense network

* Timothy James McVeigh is executed for the Oklahoma City Bombing.

* Congress passes the aviation security bill requiring that all airport screeners would undergo criminal background checks and would have to be U.S. citizens

* The US ( George W Bush ) refuses to sign the Kyoto Agreement on Climate Change

* The US Pulls Out Of 1972 Anti Ballistic Missile Treaty

* 2001 becomes known as "Summer of the Shark" after a number of shark attack fatalities.

* Pharmaceutical Companies Agree to sell Aids drugs for cost price in Africa a discount of up to 90% to help the fight against Aids.

* IRA Dismantles it's weapons arsenal after years of fighting


* The 27th G8 summit takes place in Genoa, Italy. Massive demonstrations against the meeting by anti-globalization groups

* Known simply as 9/11. On September 11, 2001 Nineteen hijackers simultaneously took control of four U.S. domestic commercial airliners. The hijackers crashed two planes into the World Trade Center in Manhattan, New York City one into each of the two tallest towers. Within two hours, both towers collapsed. The hijackers crashed the third aircraft into the U.S. Department of Defense headquarters, the Pentagon, in Arlington County, Virginia. The fourth plane crashed into a rural field in Somerset County, Pennsylvania, following apparent passenger resistance.

* The United States invades Afghanistan, with some participation from the UK. Marking the beginning of the US "War on Terrorism" campaign. Seeking to oust the Taliban and find Al-Qaeda mastermind Osama bin Laden

* California suffers more Rolling Blackouts and electricity rate hikes of up to 46 percent

* Enron files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection

* Cincinnati Mayor Charles Luken declares a state of emergency after the third night of Riots

* Pacific Gas and Electric in California Files Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Protection

* A series of Anthrax attacks spreads fear amongst the American Public and several people are infected by handling infected letters

* 120 people killed in stampede at football game in Ghana

* Selby Rail Crash in Northern England

* 'Jessica' runs aground on the Island of San Cristobal in the Galapagos Islands causing an Ecological Disaster when 180,000 gallons of oil are leaked into the sea

* Gunmen attack the parliament building in the Indian capital, New Delhi leaving At least 12 dead and 22 injured

* Hotel fire at Manila, Philippines causes the death of over 100 people.

* Ethnic Albanian extremists carry out a bomb attack on a bus convoy in Kosovo

* Gunman Kills 14 in Swiss government building

* Fire In Gotthard Road Tunnel Joining Switzerland to Northern Italy Under The Alps kills 39

* The Leaning Tower of Pisa reopens after 11 years repairs to stop it falling over

* Tony Blair and the British labour party are elected for a second term.

* 13 of the most popular museums in England are now free to visit

* General Pervez Musharraf Takes Power takes on the role of president and chief executive in Pakistan and banning opposition parties political rallies.

* The Eden Project in Cornwall, England Opened ( the worlds largest greenhouse ) trying to help save the worlds largest collection of plants

* Foot and Mouth Disease Is Found In UK after 20 years

* Soccer Fans Stampede in Ghana leaving 126 fans dead

* Richard C. Reid, dubbed by the press as the shoe bomber, attempts to blow up an American Airlines plane

* The Republican controlled House voted for the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act

* A humanitarian crisis of epic proportions occurs in DR Congo with over 16 million Congolese starving

* 7.9 magnitude earthquake strikes the city of Arequipa and surrounding areas in Southern Peru

* Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic is arrested and charged with corruption and theft of state funds and war crimes charges


* A Scandinavian airline, SAS aircraft crashes into an airport building at Linate airport killing 118

Technology 2001

* Wikipedia, a Wiki free content encyclopedia, goes online


* Napster is closed down by court order following an injunction on behalf of the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA),


* 50 countries sign the Convention on Cybercrime hoping to cut the amount of crime commited through the Internet


* Russian space station Mir is decommissioned and re-enters the atmosphere landing in the Pacific


* The Mars Odyssey spacecraft reaches Mars on October 24, 2001 It's Mission to answer the question of whether life has ever existed on Mars.


* The code red ( WORM ) virus attacks 1/4 million web sites running on Microsoft's IIS web server


* Apple Computer releases the iPod.


* HP ( Hewlett Packard ) and Compaq Merge


* Remains of what may be the oldest ancient human are found in Ethiopia estimated to be 5.5 million years old


* The unmanned solar aircraft Helios reaches a record height of over 18 miles above the earth


* Microsoft releases Windows XP


* The worlds first Contraceptive Patch ( Ortho-Evra ) goes on the market.